Monday, December 17, 2012

Sacrifice & Homeschooling




Don’t they go hand in hand? I think they do! From day one of homeschooling I had to learn to sacrifice myself and my time to my children and household ohh and my marriage. Mothering takes a lot of sacrifice in itself but when you take an income totally out of the picture the word “sacrifice” comes to a new meaning. 

When my husband and I choose to homeschool our oldest he had started Kindergarten at a local public school and attended for the first 3 weeks and not only was he miserable but I was too. I couldn’t stand what I was seeing in my happy 5 years old that always loved preschool at a church locally. I was at odds simply because we didn’t have internet, I didn’t know what homeschooling even was much less that I could do it. The entire 3 weeks Kyle was in school, there was something almost daily that didn’t go as I had hopped or he needed.  Finally this child has my hearts full attention the last week I took him to school he would cling to my leg. Yes literally, cling to my leg and the teacher would pull him off of my leg with a great big huff and I would turn and pick Lexi up in her little car seat and cry as I went toward the car. That Monday I went back home just heart broken. I didn’t know what to do. I personally didn’t like the teacher she was rude with my 5 year old on several different occasions. He also got in trouble over talking because he enjoyed it.  I wasn’t living as Christian as I wish I had been but still God was in total control. He lay on my heart to homeschool like nothing ever before. I was like looking up at the ceiling thinking – Homeschooling yeah – Not going to happen. I don’t even know how to do fractions…..

I called my aunt because I remembered she had mentioned knowing of someone that homeschooled at one point. I got her name and called her before even talking to my husband!! Wrong yes but it was going to work out! LOL. I got the number for NCHE and called them and spoke with them. They helped me with every question I had (which was probably over 100) I spent almost an hour on the phone with the receptionist. How’s that for helpful! So I thought I had it all under control now time to talk to hubby. 

Kevin has always wanted to do right, anything that he could do to help me not hurt over being a mother he has helped.  I was already not working simply because I had a small toddler still and prego with another. He also had seen a change in Kyle’s personality. He saw the fighting and tears from the mention of going to school the next day. I mean Kindergarten was supposed to be fun and awesome. At least it was when I went? Kevin and I talked overnight and decided there was no harm in trying. Just that we would try to see if it could be done and if it would make us happy. So Tuesday morning was the happiest day of my life!!!!!! I took Kyle in to the principal’s office and sat down with the principle which was my 9th grade science teacher! I explained the issues I was having and I had already requested a different teacher and was told it couldn’t happen, so I actually think he wasn’t surprised when I came back in to see him that day. I sat down with Kyle in my lap and explained that I needed to withdraw him from public school, he spoke nicely with me over the issues and tried to persuade me but it didn’t work. I signed a form and commented that I did believe the teacher had a negative effect on my son’s willingness to learn which resulted in homeschooling my son for his happiness.  Kyle and I were so happy to leave together with no crying and knowing he didn’t have to come back anymore. 

This was when the sacrifice kicks in…

(and where I had to find a cape) 
 
Man I didn’t know it was going to be so demanding, more demanding than just being a mom. I didn’t understand the responsibility it had, I didn’t really think through how to teach him basic things. We learned and we got through. Then came another little one and another… The story changes over the years. As we added more children the sacrifice came more and more. A mother is selfless and will give her children anything. This takes a toll and must be monitored.

My family has sacrificed time alone with each child. It takes talent to get time alone with each of them when there are 3. It takes practice too!  Money, we work harder in the spring and summer months to put up food by canning and freezing things to compensate for the money I would be helping bring into the home. We do not buy name brand items we buy knock off brands and have learned to make a lot of items from scratch which is healthier but more time consuming.  Along with money my children rarely get new things, we buy hand me downs from yard sales and Goodwill. My parents buy the children a new thing often which is a wonderful help to my husband and I. BUT this isn’t needed. My parents do this simply out of want, not out of need to help us. My children are cared for greatly but my parents are very involved with my children and they enjoy doing things for them.  I sacrifice myself to my children. Sometimes I feel as if I have nothing left to give my husband once he comes home. I’m tired and can be cranky because I’m tired and need some me time. I don’t get me time often like many homeschool mommas. I don’t want to sacrifice my marriage so I have found a way to make the kids and I feel better before daddy comes home. We take the hour before he comes home to do chores, then the kids go out to play or have quite time. This leaves me time to change clothes, put on some makeup if I want or just to sit on the bed and have a moment of peace. 

Homeschooling has a lot of sacrifice. From time to money to doing things you would like. It takes practice to adjust to different seasons of homeschooling. We have old cars but they are paid for. I have everything my heart desires. A happy family. A godly husband. Children that love Jesus and understand what he does and has done for us. I have more hugs and kisses than I could ever ask for. So when I step back to think about Sacrifice and how homeschooling brought all that out of me and my family, I think of the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for me. I’m thankful and overwhelmed. He sacrificed for his children too! 

I once read somewhere that within the word “homeschooling” is the word “me” but the “me” is in the word “home”! I have to make sure that my heart is right for each day to be in my home with my little blessings. They are watching me for guidance.  Homeschooling has brought out the best and worse in me however I’m thankful that God gives me grace and forgiveness to keep going.  

 Sacrifice is worth it when you see the wonderful fruit from your work.
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