Sunday, January 13, 2013

How To Strengthen Your Marriage

Homeschooling creates all kind of life changes and challenges. Homeschooling is hard and time consuming for not only the mother but the father as well. Many homeschooling families only have one income within the home and its coming from the husband.

 One of my favorite quotes ever!

 Personally as a homeschooling mother I have seen the sacrifice that comes with being home with my children all day. I have seen that run over into my marriage and into my husband’s life. Learning how to balance homeschooling your children and loving your husband is hard. I honestly think all homeschooling mothers have to find their balance with this issue. After my day with my children, I'm tired. I want some me time, but guess what... I have to fix supper or finish something for tomorrow’s lesson or get clothes ready for my husband’s work day the list could go ON AND ON. Planning is key when homeschooling. Honestly I don't plan a lot simply because I'm not really a planner type but I do plan meals and activities so that I have a better handle on my day.

With all that said I want you as the homeschooling mother to make sure your marriage is strong. We need to show strong partnership with our husbands to our children to give them a wonderful foundation for their marriages. It makes them feel secure so I have a few tips for you.

Have good spirit
Be happy. Show him everything is alright, Even when it’s not. A man will try to fix things and sometimes there are just things he can't fix. Rough days, of course we all have them but remember he just got home too! A few years ago I asked my husband what was the one thing he needed when he came home. He said a "smile and hug." Simple as that is it’s not always that simple lol, you understand I know you do! So that's exactly what he gets. A smile and hug and then I'm off again.

I have learned that this is something that totally motivates my husband personally. I wish I would have known this years ago (he-he). I try to compliment and thank him for small and large things he helps me do. I thank him for wiping the table after supper simply because I hadn't got to it yet. I thank him for changing the clothes to the dryer because I again hadn't gotten to it yet. I also love to tell him how pretty he's looking on any given day. It helps his heart and soul as much as it does mine.

You want him to listen to you?? Then you must remember it goes both ways. Listen to him. Ask his opinions about things, even if he doesn't really know the facts or topic just ask! You may be surprised when he takes interest! I get so cracked up at my hubby when I ask him his thoughts about curriculum, he looks at me like I'm from another planet BUT I've seen him before at the computer looking up exactly what I've asked him his thoughts on, just to find out what it is! He cares but he can't if he's not asked!

Be sure and overlook those things that you can't stand (yes I'm aware of how incredibly hard it is remember I'm married). Remember when you first dated, he was perfect you didn't notice any flaws! Go back to that thinking. Remember the love that you shared because you loved him so much you over looked all those things so please remember he has to do the same for you. We share a life together now and he knows you better than you know you sometimes so be kind and show grace and overlook it. Think about all the things he does you love and that will help!

Show Respect
This is one of the hardest for me, I know how horrible it is but come on, we are in the flesh and we are naturally selfish. I want things my way but I'm not married to myself am I? I must remember my husband is the leader of my household and he takes my thoughts and heart into consideration on EVERY decision. I must remember to do the same. Showing respect doesn't mean you’re going to agree all the time it’s just showing love through disagreement. We made an agreement a while back that any purchase over $40.00 an item needed approval from the other. Yes $40 isn't much but for our one income household it actually is. A simple phone call to say "Hey I found this new rug and really want it badly for the basement, can I get it?" Only takes a minute and shows respect in a ton of different ways.

My husband is a needy husband when it comes to affection. He needs hugs, kisses, pats on the back as I pass by, a wink (I know it’s not touching). You get the idea. You need to find out what love feels like to your husband (what's his love language) to provide him with the right love. Everyone feels love differently and to my husband its touch. Be sure and hug your spouse daily. It makes a difference and helps connections stay strong.

Laugh Together
This is so easy yet it doesn't nearly happen enough. I love watching something silly with my husband. I also love telling him jokes. He thinks they are cheesy sometimes but they still make him laugh. It’s good for the soul to laugh and it helps make a bond that no one can touch! This is so easy so don't let it slip by!
So remember your husband is on your side. He's allowed you to be home and embrace your children while he's providing for them and you. You want to build him up not put him down. 

Is my marriage perfect? Nope, but as a homeschooling mother these are areas I need help in, so I thought maybe someone could use some advice and steering as well.

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1 comment:

  1. this was a great article! Practical advice, and some good reminders no matter how long we've been married.


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